The Hippie Capitalist Conspiracy to Take Away Your Soap

If you can’t read what the packaging says, here it is: “This innovative ergonomically shaped ‘waste reducing’ soap has been designed to eliminate the unused center of traditional soap bars.”  And then there’s some other shit about not hurting animals, using soy inks and recycled materials.

But let’s back up a second. Aside from the uncertain structural engineering of this particular soap bar, who doesn’t use the middle portion of a bar of soap? Do people just chuck it in the trash after a few lathers? You know, you’re in there taking a shower and after a few pass throughs just decide, well this bar of soap is now tainted, so I might as well chuck in the trash?

And, aside from that bit of ridiculousness (unless of course there’s something about soap bars that I’ve never been informed about and should in fact have been chucking them down the trash after a few uses), the Green Natura Co., who makes this, has discovered a truly clever ploy to jack up soap prices. They charge $1 per bar, but a “bar” of soap is really like half a bar. And their little bit of corporate doublespeak about unused center portions actually makes me feel bad about buying a full bar.

God damn them.

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