The Ballad of G.I. Joe

What do the Joes do on their downtime between training and shooting lazers that seem to hit no one even though they are the best trained soldiers on the planet fighting Cobra?

Well, now we know.  And if the new movie was worth anything, it was being made just so we could get the above parody — one that features a better cast and storyline. 

Alexis Bledel as Lady Jaye
• Billy Crudup as Zartan
• Zack Galifiankais as Snow Job
• Tony Hale as Dr. Mindbender
• Vinnie Jones as Destro
• Joey Kern as Tomax and Xamot
• Chuck Liddell as Gung Ho
• Julianne Moore as Scarlett
• Henry Rollins as Duke
• Alan Tudyk as Shipwreck
• Olivia Wilde as The Baroness

And that doesn’t even ruin the cameo at the end, which is incredible.  Spoiler alert: he betrayed America during the first Gulf War by switching sides.  Still, if I can find it in my sixth-grade heart to forgive the man that broke my heart to begin with, then I suppose we can forgive Paramount and director Stephen Sommers for the trainwreck that was G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra. 

This video goes a long way to making that happen.

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