The Hard Knock Life

The trailer for the Quvenzhane Wallis/Jamie Foxx/Cameron Diaz remake of Annie was released last week and … I have notes. It is borderline cringe-worthy, y’all.

I am potentially biased toward the 1982 version because I am a child of the late 80s, a fan of showtunes, and a ginger. I also played Annie in the eighth grade, just like any other redheaded girl who could remotely carry a tune. But I was genuinely excited when I first heard they were doing a remake and thinking of using Amandla Stenberg (Rue from The Hunger Games), Willow Smith (she whips her hair back and forth), or Quvenzhane for the lead. I’m not a Broadway purist. Perhaps their willingness to “break the mold,” physically, meant they were thinking outside the box on this one. Remakes, in my opinion, should show you a familiar story with a unique lens (and NOT be a frame-by-frame reshoot. Ya heard, Psycho (1998)?). There was potential!

That was a while back and I kind of forgot that it was happening until I saw the trailer. And now I am feeling a great sense of ughhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Quevenzhane is cute, and she’s a good actress–but when “Tomorrow” starts playing at the end of the trailer, it’s clear she ain’t no SJP or Aileen Quinn. What should be a brassy, bright Broadway song is pulled, with the help of Autotune, into bad pop territory. Glee-cover territory. Shudder. And I just. can’t. with Cameron Diaz. She has become such a caricature of herself and watching her in this trailer caused me major secondhand embarrassment feels.

Lainey Gossip says that the whole thing feels “very 2014” and wonders about its longevity. I don’t know that I’m even that optimistic. To me it already feels stale, and it isn’t even coming out for another 10 months.

[via Lainey Gossip]

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