Central Park Restaurant Diddles Your No-No Zone

The Molesto Spot Itself

Central Park’s Tavern on the Green, an elitist restaurant for dupes with weighted pockets, settled a federal discrimination lawsuit for $2.2 million last month, based mostly on the testimony of one Martha Nyakim Gatkuoth.

Ms. Gatkuoth contributed her testimony along with 50 other employees at Tavern on the Green, exposing a deep underbelly of diddling, hooting, honking and general pokey-pokey wackiness.

[Ms. Gatkuoth] said the restaurant?s director of operations ? and some other workers who followed his lead ? demanded that female workers perform sexual acts, talked crudely about women?s genitalia, grabbed female employees? breasts and buttocks and told the women they would get better jobs and hours if they obliged the men. The black and Hispanic workers also complained of coarse epithets.

Wowza!? Tough crowd.

Our heroine hailed from Ethiopa and thought she’d found the perfect place to work.? Until, of course, the restaurant manager honked and hooted.

This comes as a boiled icepick in the heart of a long-revered New York City establishment, one with a hitherto spotless reputation built on dreams and unicorns and candy-cane castles.? Now, Tavern on the Green more closely represents the actuality of Central Park?a place of rape, murder, incest, beatings, witty retorts, public farting and buckets of pigeon shit.

Fine and well.? The problem I had with reading this article wasn’t the facts and circumstances, repugnant as they are, but Steven Greenhouse’s glossy crap writing for the New York Times.

First, the headline: To Hostess, Dream Restaurant was a Nightmare.? Snore!? I like mine better.? Much better.? That’s why I wrote it.

Here’s a sample couple of paragraphs:

Tavern on the Green. The high-decibel eating emporium, a m?lange of the ornate, the opulent and the brash. It boasts $44 slow-roast, dry-rubbed prime rib au jus, $465 bottles of Roederer Cristal Champagne and 45 chandeliers made of 15,000 pieces of crystal.

But Ms. Gatkuoth said it became something far different, a place of daily dread where, she said, sexual and racial harassment was rife.

There are many more examples of sensationalist meandering; I won’t go into them here.? But I feel that, when the subject is gritty and disgusting, readers want to stick their greasy fingers into the nest?they don’t care how many fucking chandeliers there are.

Maybe that’s just me.? Maybe I should read the Post.

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