Last week, Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian laid off my best friends. They were model employees of Comcast/E! Entertainment and now because Keeping Up With the Kardashians decided it was of the utmost artistic integrity to stage a television “wedding” some of the best people I know are looking for work.
The price for the lavish “wedding” was rumored to be a cool one million dollars — chump change to Odom who just signed a $33 million contract with the Lakers. Pocket cash for Bruce Jenner, a motivational speaker and hero of the 1976 Olympics. A sliver of Khloe’s inheritance money, better known as the Orenthal James Simpson defense fund.
You get the point. These were wealthy people and still they twisted E! Entertainment’s arm, probably not too hard, to pay for the wedding.
The company made a conscious decision to hold a fake non-binding (maybe it was real, I don’t know) wedding and then coincidently hold layoffs a few days afterwards. A total of 36 people were let go just after that magical ceremony. I’m not sure if there was a direct correlation, but I’m assuming all of their yearly incomes add up to just about a million dollars. At the very least a few jobs could have been saved by passing on the charade.
What kind of company can make such a cavalier decision?
It’s indicative of the times we live in that a business is more concerned with showering rich people with money rather than keep 36 hard-working people employed.
Paparazzi pictures and photos from a helicopter made the ceremony look legit. And sure everyone involved is saying the right things, but honestly the couple met a month ago.
It was a star studded event, which you can watch in November, d’uh. Seacrest made the mandatory company appearance and quickly Seacrested out. Lamar’s teammates were there like Kobe and lunatic Ron Artest (just signed by the Lakers in the off-season); the girls all wore matching Laker purple gowns.
How terribly cute and clever.
And so you may care about the celebrities and the wedding by proxy, because you’re forced to, because this type of show is shoved down your throat and you have no choice but to pay attention. However, let me tell you about the people who should be in your thoughts. The people who have had their lives change due to a cultural atmosphere with no integrity.
The folks let go weren’t the typical friends you find in LA. They should have been treasured as diamonds in a sea of cubic zirconium. A few of the real people this town has to offer.
“Jo” [named changed, protect the innocent and all that] was an amazing person to have around the office. If not for her I wouldn’t have met the woman I love. That’s pretty hard to beat, but she’s also my Madame Cleo. She’s always been there to listen to me and cheer me up and occasionally predict my future.
Being a big baseball guy, I compared her to Kevin Millar of the 2004 Red Sox. Not because she chews tobacco and grabs her crotch but because she’ a great club house gal. She doesn’t have to get a hit to make us all better. Every championship team needs that special someone who is good in the dugout, making everyone feel better, developing hand shakes or hitting you in the face with shaving cream when you knock in the winning run. Jo was our Kevin Millar.
She knows endlessly more about me than I do of her. That’s how she wants it to be. She’s the greatest listener I’ve ever known. Her advice is impeccable. My life and work is better for having met Jo. She’s the closest thing I have to a sister in this town and that’s saying a lot. No disrespect to my actual sister.
In laying off Jo, E! chose to can the only person in the department with a child. There is no consideration, no thought, no compassion, no sympathy. You think Lamar and Khloe will ever have to worry about taking care of their child?
So you could watch two D-list imbeciles pretend to have the greatest day of their lives and blow a million dollars of corporate money, Jo now has to find a way to feed her three-year-old little girl, make rent payments, figure out how to cloth her, and give her a normal life.
The other two friends were no less special. Two hard working guys who truly aspire to change this crazy city we live in; yet they were expendable if it means producing more of the same fake reality. But I’ll spare you.
When are we in Los Angeles going to see that we perpetuate this type of social retardation? We infect America with a virus eating away at that part of the brain that separates Meryl Streep from Tila Tequila.
We direct this type of entertainment at Middle America because we believe that’s what they desire. We think they want something stupid, mindless, the lowest common denominator of entertainment, so that’s what we feed them. Hollywood, I’ve lived in “Middle America” and the garbage you spoon feed them is not what they want but it’s all they have to eat. You’re throwing darts in the dark, making entertainment and programming choices based on false assumptions about an amorphous region of the country and honest-to-god real people’s lives are at stake.
I implore you to take chances. Go out on a limb. Remember they only love it because you tell them they do. Therefore, they’ll love it all. You have the opportunity to alter lives in a positive way.
I hate knowing I contribute to the dumbification of America. We make celebrities out of talentless whores (both genders). Its killing me and suffocating this land. Can we give them more? Can we challenge ourselves to take chances on programming that matters? Can we stop perpetuating the pathetic death of culture?
It’s the same formula over and over, young easy girls and aging rock stars. What’s David Lee Roth up too? You just paused and thought that would be a good show didn’t you? Can we regurgitate another washed up actor? Are there anymore Baldwins out there? It’s enough to make you want to smash your television or at least cancel the 500 cable channels with nothing on.
This is my resignation from the lobotomization of America.