What. The. Fuck. This is not from The Onion:
Major League Dreidel (MLD) is an amped-up Hanukkah party and battle royale where players vie for the longest dreidel spin. As competitors with such names as Spindiana Jones, Goy Wonder and Spinona Ryder play with the traditional four-sided spinning top, the mid-twenties crowd shouts, high-fives and swigs such Jewish-themed beers as Genesis Ale and Messiah Bold. The league’s main venue, the infamous Brooklyn music hot spot the Knitting Factory, is located in the hipster haven of Williamsburg.
The Jewish puns are endless, as are the inventive costumes. Oscar De La Menorah, for example, sports a boxing robe and trunks in competition. Between bouts, the heavy metal act Gods of Fire play such songs as The Quest for the Latke Oil and Taking the Temple.
Eric Pavony, 31, is MLD’s founder and “knishioner.” “I remember enjoying spinning the dreidel more than actually participating in the traditional rules of the game,” says Panony, who has seen his league grow from 32 competitors to 120 since 2007.
MLD events have since spread to San Francisco, Denver and Miami, while Pavony has refined and mass-produced the crude contraption the game was first played on and branded it the Spinagogue — the official spinning surface of MLD. This year, Pavony is expanding his empire by unleashing two new activities; Gelt Roulette and Target Tops — a game combining curling, shuffle board and beer pong.
“I think Major League Dreidel can do some good, like open the eyes of people who have never experienced Hanukkah. And, it’s a good vehicle to get people who don’t celebrate their Judaism excited,” he says.
Hey New York, the next time someone tries to tell me how awesome you are, I’m going to puke this story in your face and laugh at you. Major League Dreidel? In all seriousness though, this is usually around the time when I hit close tab and call it a day.
Furbush shakes his head and slowly back away from computer. It will take several cups of coffee to wash away the disdain for life he is feeling right now.