Rules of Traveling

Thought Catalog’s Ryan O’Connell lays down the rules for traveling.

Rule # 2: Get to the airport early so you can engage in Secret Airport Behavior (S.A.B.)

I’m a freak who likes to get to the airport very early. This is done partially to abate any anxiety I have over missing my flight, but it’s also done to ensure that I have time to participate in Secret Airport Behavior. Think about it. Airports are one of the only places left where you can be truly anonymous. What goes on in a place like JFK or LAX actually stays in JFK or LAX. Secret Airport Behavior are things you would never do with a friend or even in the city you live in; they are reserved only in the privacy of an airport. These behaviors include: buying an ice cream sundae from McDonalds, reading an issue of Nylon, eating at TGIFridays, having inappropriate conversations with someone traveling on business etc. When you’re in an airport, you’re free to go to your dark shameful place. Be careful though because there’s a 1% chance you might run into someone you know. It happened to me while I was enjoying a solitary bite at Gladstone’s. All of a sudden I heard someone call my name and with tartar sauce dripping down my mouth, I saw a friend of mine from school approach me. Blast! Now I couldn’t even buy Tori Spelling’s memoir at the bookshop to read on the plane. My friend would judge. She would not understand my S.A.B. That was a dark day.

I can’t agree with all five of his rules, as I’ve never flown Virgin American. However, since I intensely endorse his other ffour rules, well, it reasons that I should now fly Virgin exclusively.

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