Lest you think that I’m some wretched fanboy living in a basement who has nothing better to do than fantasize about women that I’ll never meet, I should point out that I live in an attic and not a basement. And that I passed whatever the maximum age is that can be classified as “fanboy” several years ago. As to the rest, no comment.
In one of my last posts, I was arguing for the idea that we had entered a new Golden Age in television, particularly for the hour drama. I think we may have achieved Diamond status for the IBBSI (incredibly Beautiful Babes per Square Inch). Telemundo and Univision are solidly in the Platinum category (if you ignore futbol) but we have definitely narrowed the gap.
Even sticking with only the shows that might be worth watching—ie., not much CW or Fox, no E! or Lifetime or Spike—the list is long, so I’ve separated it into two parts. First, the dramas. Second, reality shows and traditional sitcoms.
I’ll try to limit individual comments, and just list the women by show, but obviously feel free to add to the list in the comments or give us grief/props for our selections.
The Unit: Audrey Marie Anderson, Abby Brammell, Nicole Steinwedell
Desperate Housewives: Um, all of them
Brothers and Sisters: Calista Flockhart, Rachel Griffiths, Sarah Jane Morris, Sally Field (I know she’s doing osteoporosis commercials; I still think she’s hot. So sue me!
Life: Brooke Langton, Jennifer Siebel and OOHWOTP—one of the Hottest Women on the Planet—Sarah Shahi (formerly of the L Word)
In Plain Sight: As if Mary McCormack isn’t hot enough with her cute overbite, slight resemblance to Meg Ryan and tendency to kick major ass, we also have sister Nichole Hiltz and mom Lesley Ann Warren (see Sally Field, above)
Fringe: Anna Torv, as another ass-kicking blond federal agent
Heroes: too long to list, Kristen Bell and Ali Larter, ‘nuff said.
Chuck: Not just co-star Yvonne Strahowski, but Chuck’s sister, his Asian co-worker and countless guest stars
My Own Worst Enemy: Madchen Amick and numerous guest stars
Ugly Betty: Um, all of them
Smallville: Erica Durance, Allison Mack, Kristin Kreuk
Ghost Whisperer: J Lo
Ex List: Elizabeth Reaser, Alexandra Breckenridge, Rachel Boston
The Starter Wife: Debra Messing’s still got it
NCIS: Pauley Perrette (see Anna Friel, above) and Cote de Pablo with the sexiest season opening scene since Jennifer Garner in red lingerie on a plane
Eli Stone: Natasha Henstridge, Julie Gonzalo and Katie Holmes in a memorable guest shot
Without a Trace: Poppy Montgomery and Roselyn Sanchez
Criminal Minds: Paget Brewster, A.J. Cook
Law and Order cubed: Alana de la Garza, Kathryn Erbe(an acquired taste, perhaps) and the woman who has handcuffed my heart—and the Love Guru’s—Marischka Hargitay
Boston Legal: Tara Summers, Saffron Burrows, Meredith Eaton, and Candice Bergen (see Sally Field and Lesley Ann Warren above)
Grey’s Anatomy: Ellen Pompeo, Sandra Oh, Katherine Heigl, Chyler Leigh, Brooke Smith
Private Practice: Kate Walsh, Audra McDonald, KaDee Strickland, Amy Brenneman
Dirty Sexy Money: Natalie Zea, Zoe McLellan, Samaire Armstrong and a smokin’ (so far, guest role) Lucy Liu
CSI cubed: Marg Helgenberger, Liz Vassey, Emily Procter, Eva LaRue, Melina Kanakarides, Anna Belknap
House: Jennifer Morrison, Olivia Wilde
Reality show and traditional sitcom edition
Part Two of the Golden Age of Television for IBBSI (Incredibly Beautiful Babes per Square Inch). As a writer myself, I have a built-in bias against reality shows (ask a professional musician someday how he feels about karaoke). A couple of exceptions:
Dancing with the Stars: I have occasionall dabbled here, especially to follow some of my all time favorite babes like Marie Osmond and Jane Seymour. Then there’s Carrie Ann Inaba and Samantha Harris. This season was particularly hot with Toni Braxton, Kim Kardashian, perennial beauty Susan Lucci and, in my top five for hottest woman of all time, Brooke Burke
Biggest Loser: I’ve watched it; a) I’m a fat guy, b) Jillian Michaels and Allison Sweeney
My Name Is Earl: Jaime Pressly, Nadine Velazquez
Samantha Who: Christina Applegate
Big Bang Theory: Katie Cuoco
Two and a Half Men: Any guest star date of Charlie’s
New Adventures of Old Christine: Julia Louis-Dreyfuss. Okay, she’s probably had some work done, but it was damn quality work.