B.P. + B.B.T. + J.L.M + T.H. = that’s ALL? for reals??

Angelina Jolie was recently quoted by British Cosmopolitan as saying, ?I had only slept with four men in my life – and I married two of them!? so Star magazine–to take their journalistic depths to the extreme–does the mathematical dirty work of pinning the deed on…Timothy Hutton? Let’s decode my “heart on an oak tree” first:

The two men that Jolie married are J.L.M. (Jonny Lee Miller, “Hackers”) and B.B.T (Billy Bob Thornton, “Sling Blade”), the latter of whom she adopted son Maddox with. Currently, she is LPs (life partners) and shacks with B.P. (Brad Pitt), adoptive dad to Maddox, daughter Zahara, and son Pax, and biological dad to daughter Shiloh (so Sherlock, they must have had sex somewhere along the way!). Leaving us with: Timothy Hutton? How, you say? First off, they met on the set of “Playing God” in 1997, and they were rumored to have been a couple. But here is Star‘s backstory, via Celebitchy:

Star can reveal that all signs point to actor Timothy Hutton as Angie?s mystery man! When the pair costarred in the 1997 thriller “Playing God”, there were whispers that they were an item. These rumors escalated when a tattoo of the letter H – for Hutton – appeared on the inside of her wrist.

Later Angelina, now 32, insisted the ?H? was for her brother James Haven, not Timothy, 47. So why won?t Angelina admit that it was Timothy? He was divorced from actress Debra Winger at the time.

When she and Timothy broke up, Angie took it hard, the source says. ?Angie was very in love with Timothy and wanted to get serious, but he didn?t,? says the insider. ?He broke her heart, and that led to a downward spiral for her in terms of her mental health.? The insider adds that after the split, Angelina turned to women and experimented with heroin.”

This is a photo of Jolie’s tattoo homage to Hutton, and this was 1997: didn’t Hollywood learn anything from Johnny Depp‘s Winona Forever tattoo (which now reads “Wino Forever”)–you may think it’s forever, but the only thing that’s forever is your tattoo. I don’t think that looks much like an “h” but typical of Jolie to find some ancient script that no one can read, and its meaning is always up for debate. “It’s an ‘h’!” “No, it’s a stork with a baby!” Celebitchy reported that the fourth mystery man was Colin Farrell, as he and Jolie were very “tight” during the filming of “Alexander” (in which they played son and mother), but they had forgotten her marriage to Jonny Lee Miller at the conclusion of “Hackers” filming. And with their mention of Farrell, in addition to the loads of other people I’d speculate she’s slept with, I don’t find much truth to her original quote. She seems dead-set in presenting this image as a socially-conscious, family-oriented, hard-working, selfless person, and while I’m sure she has elements of these traits in her personality, I think people forget that just a few years ago, she was wearing vials of blood around her neck, f-ing in the back of limos prior to award ceremonies, and doing heroin with Marilyn Manson.

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