Brit v. KFed: the secret witness revealed!

When reading TMZ‘s minute-by-minute updates of the ongoing custody battle between Britney Spears and Kevin Federline, I often set my own soundtrack to the headlines, usually filled with 5-year-old catchphrases from the CW network, i.e. oh no he din’n (spelling questionable, pronunciation implied), aw snap, treated! and the like. But the more details that emerge, the sicker my stomach feels.

First there were the reports that Brit used to fill Sean Preston and Jayden James’ bottles with pop and coffee with milk, then tried whitening their teeth, but you know, that’s US Weekly and Star speculation from “inside sources.”

But now we have a secret witness take the stand–revealed today as Tony Barretto, a former bodyguard of Britney’s from a brief period in April and May of 2007–who alleges “nudity, drug use and safety issues post-rehab.” According to TMZ,

Gloria Allred, Barretto’s attorney, said in a press conference today that Brit’s former hired muscle was prepared to testify under oath today, but that neither the court nor Britney’s attorneys chose to cross-examine him. She said his declaration went “unrefuted and unchallenged.”

To complicate matters, Britney’s attorney, Laura Wasser, who hammered out the unbelievable 50/50 custody agreement, submitted legal papers this morning to the judge, asking to be formally removed from the case. Britney is now represented by high-profile attorney Marci Levine and celebrity attorney Mel Goldsman. This on the heels of a report by the Sun that she has been banned from celeb hotspot, the Chateau Marmont, for bizarre behavior that includes um, smearing food all over her face in the hotel’s restaurant?

From A Socialite’s Life:

“She constantly looked out of it when she came in and the guests began to make noises. The hotel acted before she made a huge scene. No one wants to be banned from staying at the Chateau.

“If she was trying to make a real go of her comeback then the people who visit the Chateau are the ones who could make it happen.”

It seems that, as of late, 90% of Britney stories include the star “looking out of it.” I would have taken that info with a grain of salt had I not watched the MTV VMAs two weeks ago…her vacant stare and lifeless performance made me *kind of* believe those urban legends about the suckers she always has in paparazzi photos containing more than sugar. I can only wonder (if and when she does show up to these custody hearings) a. what she wears; b. how she acts; and c. if she even cares.

KFed is looking for a 70/30 agreement, which considering the stories that have emerged about the care she takes of her children (i.e. drinking in front of them, going out constantly and leaving them in the care of a revolving door of nannies–which may be a somewhat of a good thing, but then there’s reports that she looks for cool, hip nannies who will be her friend, not primarily her children’s caretaker) sounds tremendously fair, but with the addition of this secret witness, Tony Barretto, and the fact that attorneys on either side did not refute his claims, Brit’s all-but-nonexistent-case may have disappeared .

Tony Barretto, former bodyguard


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